Bravery is caused by Tears
by crystal-snow-is-the-best
Summary: What if there was another stiff initiate with Tris? What if Tobias wasn't the only child of Marcus? What if Marcus was worse than the book tells? What if she is the interest of a dangerous man? Bad Summary, but I hope you might read it? Review! Plz... Nothing explicit, but might mention adult themes (Abuse...)
1. Chapter 1

I wake up gasping, my lungs devoid of all air, my heart racing. My eyes dart around the room, finally coming to a stop in front of me, resting on Tori's face. Slowly, she opens her eyes and gazes back at me, her eyes appearing to see much more than my face.

"Wait here," is all she says before hurrying out the door. As If I have any other choice but to stay.

"Anywhere but here." Abnegation. My home. Anywhere but home. Me, the Abnegation role model, is selfish enough to leave. I have to escape. I have no other choice. Tori comes back in, closing the door firmly behind her.

"Kathleen, your not like most cases," Tori begins, why am I not surprised. Everyone will expect me to stay here in Abnegation, not transfer. I'm not a traitor. Or am I? I inhale slowly, but seem to forget to exhale.

"You're Divergent." My breath comes out as a gasp, my plain eyes widening. Me? Divergent? I force myself to look up and meet Tori's gaze, my eyes plainly revealing my shock.

"I know, you were probably expecting Abnegation, from what I hear your some sort of Abnegation role model, all the Abnegation parents want their children to be as selfless and proper as you." I should be selfless, deny it, but my mind is too far lost to respond, and I know what she says is true, everyone tells me that.

"Your test is supposed to rule out all but one faction, but your test was only capable of ruling out one, Candor." I knew I wasn't Candor. I lie to easily. My whole life has been a lie.

"So..." I can't think, my mind is too busy trying to comprehend what Tori is saying.

"You have an aptitude for Amity, Dauntless, Erudite... and Abnegation." An aptitude for Abnegation. My option to stay still stands. I could still choose to remain here. No, I can't. Staying is no longer an option. I must leave. I'd rather be a traitor than remain in Abnegation.

"I know the rules say don't discuss your results, but this applies even more so for Divergents. Divergence is dangerous, no one can know, understand?" The look she has is piercing, a true dauntless glare.

"Yes ma'am, I understand." Ugh, I inwardly groan at my own response, little miss Abnegation, respectful and proper.

"I'm going to manually enter your result as Abnegation so-"

"No!" I cut her off, "No, put me in as Erudite." Tori stands there watching, observing me for a moment before continuing.

"Very well, if that is what you wish, I will enter you in as aptitude for Erudite."

"Thank you." Back to little miss Abnegation.

"I suggest you go straight home from here, so fewer people have the chance to ask questions. If they do, tell them you got sick and had to leave."

"Yes ma'am," I say, already heading towards the door.

"Kathleen," I hear Tori call softly. I turn around and face her.

"Yes?" My eyes meet hers, and hers soften.

"Be careful. It's a dangerous world out there for Divergents." I stand there dumbfounded, watching her retreating figure. I turn around and exit the building, beginning the walk home.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys... I'm really sorry I haven't uploaded in a while.**

**I've been really busy, but there really isn't a real excuse for doing this... I'm sorry. I'll try to upload as much as possible, just please don't hate me for taking a while...**

I pause before entering the house, stopping to gaze up at the sky. A single cloud drifts into view, free. How lovely it would be to be as free as a cloud, to drift through life. The thoughts of an Amity, but I know I will not choose Amity. My hidden temper would clash with their peace.

I finally open the door, slowly shutting the door behind me, trying to be as quiet as possible. It's a habit. I slip my grey shoes and bend down to move them over to the wall. I don't notice them until I had already moved my shoes and was beginning to straighten back up, the other pair of shoes already facing the wall. Father is home early today. I guess his meeting was shorter than expected.

Feet move into my sight, my gaze resting on the floor, stopping directly in front of me. A warm hand lands on my shoulder, a gesture of welcoming. Not appropriate in public, but fine at home.

"It seems I'm not the only one who's plans did not last as long as scheduled." His voice is gentle, but I know not to be fooled by that.

"Did they finish the tests early?" I can feel his probing eyes on the top of my scalp, but I keep my head down, eyes continuing to stare at the floor.

"I was feeling sick. I asked for permission to leave early to avoid getting anyone else sick." I keep my voice level and monotone to hide anything that may try to escape my mind. Hide the fact I'm lying. Father had always been good at knowing when someone was lying.

"That was very selfless of you." The standard response to any good deed in Abnegation. I shake my head.

"I was only doing the right thing."

I won't be able to avoid his gaze forever, but I hope to avoid it for as long as I can.

"Are you still feeling bad?" His voice sounds concerned, but I know it's a lie.

"Not anymore. No sir." I refuse to call him by his preferred title, unless I have to.

"Kathleen, my daughter, haven't I told you to call me 'father'?"

"Yes."

"Then why do you continue calling me 'sir'?" Because your mean and cruel.

"I do not know, sir."

"Tsk, Tsk," father clicks his tongue, "If we don't start addressing people by their proper title, I might put the closet to use again." No, please no! My eyes widen in fear. I keep my gaze on the floor, hatred flaring in my stomach.

"We wouldn't want that, would we?"

"No... Father," I add through gritted teeth."

"See, that wasn't so bad." I can hear him gloating through his voice.

"Now, my dear, I would like to see your pretty eyes." I don't reply, but I don't look up either.

"Kathleen."

"Yes, Father?" I try my best to sound innocent, so he won't punish me, so I don't get stuck in the closet.

"Look at me my child." I don't want to, but I can't disobey him, unless I want the closet, or a whipping. Slowly, hesitantly, I lift up my head. My gaze slowly rises from the floor, working it's way up. My eyes stop briefly, resting to look at his neck. I don't want to look at his face. Just the sight of it makes me sick.

Finally, I look into his face. I look into his eyes, a deep blue color, almost black. His eyes appear warm, but I know it's fake. I didn't understand why my brother left before, but now I do. Our father is cruel, he just dresses us up to look good to make him look better. He's a liar. He's a monster. My father.

Marcus.

**Tobias's little sister! Feel free to leave a review, but you don't have to. I hope you liked it. **


	3. Apology

Hey guys. Crystal-Snow here. I'm really sorry it's been taking so long for me to update. I've been in a bit of a slump when it comes to story writing. I've hit the dreaded Writer's block. Really, if it hadn't been for your reviews, I probably would still be struggling to write. Reading your reviews reminded me that I owe it to you all, the readers, to get over the slump, because you all deserve better. I'm planning a lot for this story/Series, and so I'm going to ask that you all bear with me, because it's going to be a long, and probably bumpy, ride, but I hope that you all will stay with it, and I hope that you all will enjoy it.

Once again, sorry for taking so long... But hopefully, I'll get pretty far before writer's block hits again.

Thank you all for reading, reviewing, and following, it means the world to me!

See you next Chapter!


	4. Chapter 3

"Finally," Father says with that fake smile of his, "that's better."

For you maybe, but not for me. He may wear his mask of gentleness well, but I can see straight through it. I look into his face and I remember all the times he hit me, whipped me, stuck me in the closet... and worse. Everyone in Abnegation thinks my father is the same at home as he is in council, but they have never seen him at home. They don't really know him at all.

When Jeanine Matthews started attacking my father with accusations of being an abuser, the Abnegation rallied against it, calling it a lie, but one thing they never did was come to our house and see if it was indeed a lie. After my brother left, I was the only one left behind with father, mother having died when brother and I were young. With no one left, father kept all his attention on me, and though I was 14 and trying to be everything he wanted, I just wasn't good enough. Yet.

He was a strict "disciplinarian", as he liked to call himself. Everything I did wrong, or just not quite good enough, was reacted to with harsh discipline. When my "offenses" were minor I was struck in the closet. When they got more severe I was whipped. When father was merely in a bad mood, I got worse punishments. There would be months when I would dread coming home, but because I am abnegation, I am not allowed to tell anyone, burden anyone, and no one comes to see.

"I'll help you prepare dinner tonight. Come," Father says, walking into the kitchen.

"It's fine, Father. You rest. I will make dinner." Please, rest, don't help. Leave me alone. Father looks back at me, his surprise written all over his face.

"Don't be silly. Come, I'll help with dinner," he says with a smile. It doesn't reach his eyes. I watch his back as he disappears into the kitchen, my hands trembling. Maybe he is feeling kind today. I can only hope. Slowly, I allow my feet to carry me forward, into the kitchen. I walk over to the freezer, where we keep our food. I can hear father get out a small pot and pan and place them on the stove top. I get out two chicken breasts and a bag of peas, our bread already in a basket on the dinner table.

"Here, I'll cook the chicken and you heat up the peas." Father takes the chicken breasts from my hand and places them in the pan, turning on the heat. I pour the peas from the bag into the pot and also turn on the heat. We are standing side-by-side and I take out a spoon and stir the peas. Father reaches over and puts his arm around my waist. Please, leave me be. Maybe he is just hugging me. It's an Amity greeting, but anything besides...

His hand slides down on my waist and a rock drops in my stomach. My grip on the spoon tightens. Of course he wouldn't be kind. He had council today, he is always in a bad mood after council. I should know better.

"The peas are done," I say quickly, moving out of his grasp. I turn off the heat and pour the peas onto a platter on the table.

"I just finished as well. Let us eat." Father puts one chicken breast each on two plates and sets them at our places at the table. We both sit in our places and Father offers me his hands, to give thanks before we eat. Tentatively I take them and close my eyes, ignoring his thumbs rubbing over the palms of my hands. Father gives thanks to God for our meal, and we start dinner. We eat in silence for a while, but Father finally looks up from his meal.

"Kathleen." The way he says it demands I look up.

"Some of my fellow council members are coming over after dinner to visit." I nod my head to tell him I understand.

"You know what you need to do." I can feel myself stiffen. Don't I look good enough now?

"Yes, Father." I don't dare question him. I look down and eat my last spoonful of food. Father finishes at the same time and reaches his hand across the table to take my plate.

"I will take care of dinner tonight. You go and get ready."

"Thank you." I slide out of my chair and head up the stairs to get the bag. I stop outside of Tobias's room, his door is closed. I understand why he left, but it still hurts. He left me alone with Father. As soon as Tobias left, Father was crushed, and without Tobias Father's full attention was on me. It used to be Tobias who was punished and I was the "good" one. Father had always wanted a daughter. I close my eyes and shake my head to clear away the thoughts. No time for nostalgia. I head into my room and pull the trunk out from under my bed. This used to be Tobias's - Mother gave it to him to hide his trinkets. The day of his choosing ceremony, Father found the trunk and destroyed everything in it. When Tobias went to Dauntless, Father took the trunk and gave it to me, but he had already filled it.

I carry it down to the mirror. I slide the panel away from the mirror and place the trunk on the table at my side. I pull the key from my pocket, unlock the trunk and open it. I still remember when he gave it to me. I opened it and was so surprised by what I found.

Makeup.


End file.
